A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part.
Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ø If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Ø Many never really grow up, they only learn how to act in public.
Ø War does not determine who is right but only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ø Evening news is when a reporter begins with 'Good evening', and then proceeds to tell you why it isn't.
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Ø Why is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Ø Many claim that they want a career, but the reality is, they just want paychecks.
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Ø On the section of an application form where it says: "If an emergency, notify ________; I put "Doctor".
Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was only blaming you!
Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said: "Implants?"
Ø Why do many believe you when you say there are over four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is fresh and wet?
Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer belly, and still think they are sexy.
Ø Why are there typically only two candidates who compete for the U.S. presidency but 50 for Miss America?
Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of every successful man is usually another woman.
Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ø You actually do not need a parachute to sky-dive. You only need a parachute if you want to sky-dive more than once.
Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas.
Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Ø Diplomacy is the art of telling you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Ø Hospitality is the art of making your guests feel like they're at home, when you literally wish they were.
Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Ø You'll soon discover that you scream the same way whether you're about to be devoured by a great white shark or a piece of seaweed touches your foot.
Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.
Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Ø You're never too old to learn something dumb and stupid.
Ø To be 10% sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Ø Some people hear voices. Others see invisible people. But many have no imagination whatsoever.
Ø A bus is a vehicle which runs twice as fast after you were on it.
Author Unknown
Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ø If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Ø Many never really grow up, they only learn how to act in public.
Ø War does not determine who is right but only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ø Evening news is when a reporter begins with 'Good evening', and then proceeds to tell you why it isn't.
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Ø Why is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Ø Many claim that they want a career, but the reality is, they just want paychecks.
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Ø On the section of an application form where it says: "If an emergency, notify ________; I put "Doctor".
Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was only blaming you!
Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said: "Implants?"
Ø Why do many believe you when you say there are over four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is fresh and wet?
Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer belly, and still think they are sexy.
Ø Why are there typically only two candidates who compete for the U.S. presidency but 50 for Miss America?
Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of every successful man is usually another woman.
Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ø You actually do not need a parachute to sky-dive. You only need a parachute if you want to sky-dive more than once.
Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas.
Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Ø Diplomacy is the art of telling you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Ø Hospitality is the art of making your guests feel like they're at home, when you literally wish they were.
Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Ø You'll soon discover that you scream the same way whether you're about to be devoured by a great white shark or a piece of seaweed touches your foot.
Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.
Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Ø You're never too old to learn something dumb and stupid.
Ø To be 10% sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Ø Some people hear voices. Others see invisible people. But many have no imagination whatsoever.
Ø A bus is a vehicle which runs twice as fast after you were on it.
Author Unknown
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