May 19, 2019

Jesus Was Vaccinated

By William James

Gloria Copeland told her viewers that they won't catch the flu, because "Jesus himself gave us the flu shot".

Televangelist Gloria Copeland told her viewers this week not to worry about catching the flu. Why? Because Jesus provided his followers with a metaphorical flu shot that will protect them during this particularly dangerous flu season.

“Listen, partners, we don’t have a flu season,” Gloria Copeland said. “And don’t receive it when somebody threatens you with, ‘Everybody is getting the flu.’ We’ve already had our shot, He bore our sicknesses and carried our diseases. That’s what we stand on.”

Praying for those who may already have the flu, Copeland proclaimed, “Flu, I bind you off the people in the name of Jesus. **Jesus himself gave us the flu shot, He redeemed us from the curse of flu.” Those who don’t have the flu, she promised, can protect themselves by simply declaring, “I’ll never have the flu.”

“Inoculate yourself with the word of God,” Copeland advised.

At the end of her video, Copeland invited everyone to attend a free faith-healing seminar, apparently just in case they catch the flu after all. –The Intellectualist

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