Years ago, only the rich and famous traveled. Fortunately, gone are those days. Today, travel is one of the most common activities to modern man and has become quite affordable for many. So, travel has become a big business and a major industry. As a travel agent, I have had all sorts of clients. Some are truly amusing, especially first-time travelers. Below are some samples . . .
A woman once asked for an aisle seat in the airplane so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
A man called and said he wanted to go to Capetown. After I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, he interrupted me and said , ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.'' Not wanting to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in South Africa.''
The next thing I heard was a click and a dial tone.
A client called, furious about a Florida package which we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he expected an ocean-view room. So, I explained that it was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He angrily replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!''
A lady asked "Is it possible to see England from Canada?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.''
A man asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and saw that he had only a one-hour stopover in Dallas. So I asked him why he wanted to rent a car. He said, ''I heard Dallas is a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.''
A woman called and wanted to know how her flight from Detroit could leave at 8:30 a.m., and get to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. So, I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she just couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I just told her that the plane goes very fast, and she bought that explanation.
A man called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said "FAT". I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
I looked into his reservation and then I explained that the city code for Fresno, California is "F-A-T" for Fresno Air Terminal, and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
Someone called to inquire about a travel package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''
A first-time airline passenger asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have that number on them.''
A woman said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Florida on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
A customer had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa, she said. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
So, I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
A man called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.''
I asked, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After searching, I replied, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a place called Rhino anywhere."
The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
As I started to check a map of the State of New York, it finally dawned on me, so I asked, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply: ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
-Contributed by Ralph
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