Author Unknown
1) Death is the Number 1 killer in the world.
2) Life is sexually transmitted.
3) Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
4) Men have two (2) main motivations: hunger & hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. So, if you see a gleam in a man's eyes, make him a sandwich.
5) Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and he/she won't bother you for weeks, months, and perhaps even years.
6) Someday, health nuts are going to feel stupid dying of absolutely nothing.
7) Everyone should learn a very important lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
8) In the 1960s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now that the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.
9) Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today can burn your butt tomorrow.
10) Most importantly. . .in God's divine foreknowledge & wisdom, He knew that eventually most seniors would not get enough exercise. Thus, He designed a senior citizen to become:
1) Death is the Number 1 killer in the world.
2) Life is sexually transmitted.
3) Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
4) Men have two (2) main motivations: hunger & hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. So, if you see a gleam in a man's eyes, make him a sandwich.
5) Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and he/she won't bother you for weeks, months, and perhaps even years.
6) Someday, health nuts are going to feel stupid dying of absolutely nothing.
7) Everyone should learn a very important lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
8) In the 1960s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now that the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.
9) Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today can burn your butt tomorrow.
10) Most importantly. . .in God's divine foreknowledge & wisdom, He knew that eventually most seniors would not get enough exercise. Thus, He designed a senior citizen to become:
- more forgetful so one has to search for eyeglasses, keys and other things thus requiring one to do more walking;
- less coordinated so one drops things thus requiring one to bend, reach, and stretch;
- less efficient bladder and bowels requiring one to get up and run to the bathroom and answer more frequent "calls of nature" thereby getting even more exercise.
And God saw that it was all for Man's good.
So, as you age, you may complain and mutter under your breath about getting more forgetful, less coordinated, and getting up & running to the toilet more often, remember that it is all in your best interest and all part of God's wise design & plan in your life. –Contribution by Ralph
So, as you age, you may complain and mutter under your breath about getting more forgetful, less coordinated, and getting up & running to the toilet more often, remember that it is all in your best interest and all part of God's wise design & plan in your life. –Contribution by Ralph
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