On Being Gay

I grew up in a very gay friendly household.  When I was 11 my uncle died of AIDS and I learned what being gay actually meant.

When I was 14 years old my mom came to me and asked if I was a homosexual.  She asked because she had noticed me having a lot of female friends and not taking an interest in a lot of things that "guys" take interest in.

I wasn't gay then and I am not gay now, but I get asked by girls I go out with if I am.  On a number of occasions I've been on a date with a girl and they are convinced that I must be gay.

Part of it has to do with my love of show-tunes, some of it has to do with the fact that I am in touch with my emotions, and I'm sure people question why I don't care too much about sports or cars or anything that "guys" enjoy.

The truth of the matter is I was just born attracted to women.  I don't think this is unfortunate, but I never really had a choice in the matter.  We all have choices about the things we do, but we don't have choices about the things that interest us.

I think that part of the problem in our country is that there is the notion, in some circles, that being gay is trendy or chic.  In my early 20's girls would make out with each other at bars, saying they were bi-sexual, in order to attract attention from the men.

Once in college I had a friend that attended a freshman mixer with me.  We were out to try our luck with the opposite sex.  Neither of us really had the skills or confidence we needed to pick up women, but it was a fond memory.  6 months later I saw the same kid walking down the hall holding hands with a girl.  When I asked if it was his girlfriend he said "oh, gosh no...I'm gay".

We talked about his coming out and this was his experience.  He went to a support meeting for homosexual and gay friendly people.  When he was there someone had asked him if he'd had a girlfriend.  When he realized that he hadn't for a while and that going out with women hadn't come easy to him, he decided he would try being gay.  It was easier for him.  I think that people who act this way damage the gay community by allowing people to think that being gay is a conscious decision.

To this day I don't know if he was actually gay or not.  What I do know is that not many people actually willingly want to enter into the gay lifestyle.  There is hatred and bigotry everywhere, even in this day and age.  The reason that coming out is so hard is because people are not accepting of the gay community.

People are gay because they are born gay.  They can no more choose their sexual preference than I can choose the types of women I am attracted to. –CNN iReport