My New Alphabet

It used to be that:

A is for apple, and B is for boat, but now at my age, it has a new coat!

Age before beauty is what I used to say, but now, as a senior, it is another way.

These days, at my age the alphabet has become:

A - is for arthritis,
B - is for bad back,
C - is for chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D - is for decay, downhill, decline,
E - is for eyesight failing -- can't read the top line!

F - is for farting and fluid retention,
G - is for gut droop, I'd rather not mention.
H - is for high blood pressure-- hope it is low;
I - is for incisions with scars I can show.
J - is for joints with moves that don't blend,

K - is for knees that crack when they bend.
L - is for libido, all gone, so is sex.
M - is for mem'ry loss -- I forget what comes next.
N - is for neuralgia in nerves up and below;
O - is for osteoporosis with posture like a bow!

P - is for prescriptions -- I've got quite a few, to help keep me well and my youth to renew!
Q - is for queasiness from ague and flu?
R - is for reflux -- one meal turns into two.
S - is for sleepless nights -- nightmares and fears,

T - is for tinnitus -- ringing in my ears!

U - is for urinary trouble, can't pee or won't flow;
V - is for vertigo, that's 'dizzy' you know..
W - is for worry of what's going around?
X - is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y - is for years that remain, and youth left behind,
Z - is for zest I still have -- but just in my mind!

-Author Unknown