Why Are Men Usually Never Depressed?

Reality is ... men are happier and simpler creatures. Below are at least 35 reasons.

1. A man's last name remains the same throughout his lifetime.
2. The garage is all his.
3. His wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. To him, chocolate is just another snack.
5. He can never be pregnant.
6. He can wear a white T-shirt or NO shirt at all to a water park.
7. Car mechanics are more likely to tell him the truth and not fleece him.
8. The world is his urinal. He never has to drive to another gas station restroom because one is "just too icky".
9. He doesn't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. He does the same work, but gets more pay.
10. To him, wrinkles add character.
11. His tux rental is $100 or less vs. a woman's wedding dress which costs $1,000 or more.
12. People never stare at his chest when they talk to him.
13. His new shoes don't cut, blister or mangle his feet.
14. He has only one mood 99.99999% of the time.
15. He does not suffer from PMS or cold/hot flashes.
16. His phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
17. He does not bother with fashion fads and styles.
18. He is not picky about food or where to eat.
19. He does not care whether a house is clean or messy.
20. His vacation, regardless of how long, requires one suitcase only.
21. He is able to open bottles, cans, and jars without asking for anyone's help. If he is unable to open a bottle, can, or jar, he looks for one which he can.
22. He gets credit for the slightest act of kindness or thoughtfulness. Actually, he really does not care whether he does or does not get any credit.
23. If someone forgets to invite him to some occasion, he does not mind at all---to him that someone is still a friend regardless.
24. His underwear costs $9 or less for a three-pack.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough for him.
26. He doesn't mind stains or wrinkles on his or other people's clothes. In fact, he does not care what he or others wear.
27. Everything on his face stays "as is" -- no need to apply make-up or any gel or goo.
28. He has the same hairstyle for decades...until he goes bald or he dies [whichever comes first].
29. He only has to shave his face and neck.
30. He does not mind playing with the same toys [or no toys at all] all his life.
31. He has one wallet and only one color for all occasions and seasons.
32. He can wear shorts no matter how his legs look.
33. He can 'do' his nails with a pocket knife.
34. He is free to choose whether to have or not to have a beard/mustache.
35. He can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives [if he even bothers to] on December 24th in 30 minutes or less.