Senior Citizens' "Personal" Ads In Florida's The Village Newspaper

FOXY LADY :

Sexy, fashion-conscious, blue-haired beauty,
80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'),
searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
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LONG-TERM COMMITMENT :

Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness,
fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
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SERENITY NOW :

I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and
meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together,
take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
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WINNING SMILE :

Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser
to share rare steaks, corn-on-the-cob and caramel candy.
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BEATLES OR STONES ?

I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on
Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen,
let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
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MEMORIES :

I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads
together.
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MINT CONDITION :

Male, 1932 model , high mileage, good condition, some hair,
many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Not in running condition, but walks well.

Author(s) Unknown