The current scandal within the Catholic church is truly sad! The sexual abuse of children by a men of God is, without a doubt, a sin! It’s ugly, disgusting, dark, and a slap, fist to God, then to the church itself. But before we crucify the Catholic church lets take one step back for a moment.
Abuse of power and the inappropriate behavior by church leaders is not only within the Catholic church. The only reason the Catholic church is in the lime light is due to the fact that children, in particular boys, are being sexually used and abused. If this was not the case and it involved only woman … there wouldn't be a peep!
Sexual abuse within the ranks of the church is not uncommon. I know. My father abused his ministerial powers and was actively promiscuous with at least three women that we know of and had a child with one of the them. His behavior caused a great deal of pain and altered my families life, mine in particular, for many years following. His abuse of power emotionally and physically was an embarrassment which disgraced the families name for many years.
The fall from grace went like this. He evangelized, indoctrinated. and nurtured these woman thus winning their confidence. Then he seduced them in the pastor’s office. To top it off, in order to cover up the oops!, he wanted the one woman to abort her child. Meanwhile, his wife, my mother, raised the kids, kept the house, counseled his bed post notches, taught a woman’s bible class, and much more while he, my father, was tricking with these women in his church office. Then, when all came to light the fall from grace was rapid and harsh.
When the dust settled, the woman didn’t have an abortion. My mother was willing to take the child and raise it as their own under the condition that dad wouldn’t see the “other” woman again … ever! He declined. Eventually, they separated then divorced. The “other” woman became my stop-mother and her son, my step-brother. I know my stop-mother, but have never meet my step-brother. As to whether or not he continued his sexual escapades after his second marriage is uncertain and what’s troubling is the unanswered question of sexual abuse towards my sister. To this day my sister will not talk about it.
My father’s indiscretions and ultimate choices emotionally destroyed the family. I will never forget the moment. The phone rings ... I answer. The man on the line requested to speak to our last name to which I replied, I am. His question was; "we have your son enrolling in school, thus we would require you to" …. I stopped the conversation and turned the phone over to my mother, at which time the naked truth came to light. That moment I lost all respect for the man I looked up to and wanted to become like. And I felt as though everything he ever taught me about “truth” and God was a lie.
That day I came to the conclusion that love is not forever, that faithfulness is a lie, that honesty was irrelevant, and that truth was illusive. That day, I divorced my father as well as God.
My point is this, whether it be children, women, men or whoever, the church is not immune to sexual transgressions amongst clergy or parishioners. The church mimics life! Therefore, I conclude that those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Before we judge the Catholic church to harshly you need to make sure that your own church leaders are not engaging in abuse of any kind.
Just remember, everyone suffers and the damage is tsunamical (not a real word, but I’m sure you get my point!) in nature. I also add that being betrayed by clergy is almost like being betrayed by God. It is a defining moment that is hard to shake. After years of counselling I was able to forgive and reconnect with my God on a much different level.
If your a man of the cloth and are currently abusing anyone sexually you need to remove yourself from your position of power immediately. Destroying the soul of another human being is an unforgivable sin.
Abuse of power and the inappropriate behavior by church leaders is not only within the Catholic church. The only reason the Catholic church is in the lime light is due to the fact that children, in particular boys, are being sexually used and abused. If this was not the case and it involved only woman … there wouldn't be a peep!
Sexual abuse within the ranks of the church is not uncommon. I know. My father abused his ministerial powers and was actively promiscuous with at least three women that we know of and had a child with one of the them. His behavior caused a great deal of pain and altered my families life, mine in particular, for many years following. His abuse of power emotionally and physically was an embarrassment which disgraced the families name for many years.
The fall from grace went like this. He evangelized, indoctrinated. and nurtured these woman thus winning their confidence. Then he seduced them in the pastor’s office. To top it off, in order to cover up the oops!, he wanted the one woman to abort her child. Meanwhile, his wife, my mother, raised the kids, kept the house, counseled his bed post notches, taught a woman’s bible class, and much more while he, my father, was tricking with these women in his church office. Then, when all came to light the fall from grace was rapid and harsh.
When the dust settled, the woman didn’t have an abortion. My mother was willing to take the child and raise it as their own under the condition that dad wouldn’t see the “other” woman again … ever! He declined. Eventually, they separated then divorced. The “other” woman became my stop-mother and her son, my step-brother. I know my stop-mother, but have never meet my step-brother. As to whether or not he continued his sexual escapades after his second marriage is uncertain and what’s troubling is the unanswered question of sexual abuse towards my sister. To this day my sister will not talk about it.
My father’s indiscretions and ultimate choices emotionally destroyed the family. I will never forget the moment. The phone rings ... I answer. The man on the line requested to speak to our last name to which I replied, I am. His question was; "we have your son enrolling in school, thus we would require you to" …. I stopped the conversation and turned the phone over to my mother, at which time the naked truth came to light. That moment I lost all respect for the man I looked up to and wanted to become like. And I felt as though everything he ever taught me about “truth” and God was a lie.
That day I came to the conclusion that love is not forever, that faithfulness is a lie, that honesty was irrelevant, and that truth was illusive. That day, I divorced my father as well as God.
My point is this, whether it be children, women, men or whoever, the church is not immune to sexual transgressions amongst clergy or parishioners. The church mimics life! Therefore, I conclude that those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Before we judge the Catholic church to harshly you need to make sure that your own church leaders are not engaging in abuse of any kind.
Just remember, everyone suffers and the damage is tsunamical (not a real word, but I’m sure you get my point!) in nature. I also add that being betrayed by clergy is almost like being betrayed by God. It is a defining moment that is hard to shake. After years of counselling I was able to forgive and reconnect with my God on a much different level.
If your a man of the cloth and are currently abusing anyone sexually you need to remove yourself from your position of power immediately. Destroying the soul of another human being is an unforgivable sin.
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